Hello, everyone.

Anthony can't do outpatient therapy with ReMed because they feel that they are not equipped to deal with him based on his mood and behavior. They suggest sending him to a behavioral program in Philadelphia, but I don't see that as a feasible option, what with our impending move and the fact that such a distance would make it tough for me to make sure he's being taken care of properly. I couldn't leave him so far away. He started taking an anti-depressant last week, but we won't likely see results for a few weeks.

I came across a quote in the Magnificat this morning and had to read it to Anthony, as it seemed to fit him so well:
"Let us thank God a thousand times if in the sadness which invades us it seems to us as if we are rejected by the world. The depression and suffering, the bitterness with which we seem sometimes to be soaked, were the lot of our Lord on earth" (Bl. Charles de Foucauld).
Anthony is "soaked" in an agonizing sadness that seems endless, and he is utterly withdrawn from everything and everybody right now, just wanting release from this world that feels so unfamiliar to him (despite his relatively good memory). Sometimes, with a frustrating stubbornness, he refuses to even respond to me (or anyone else), and in those moments, although he is fully cognizant of his surroundings and what people want him to do, he is completely unreasonable.

The Anthony I used to know seems impossibly far away.

And still we must be thankful, not just because it could be worse, but because the suffering in itself is a gift (however, this doesn't stop me from looking into God's return policy!!).

Thanks for your continued prayers.

God bless,
Anna